Gaia's Sad Life

I'm reading Fearless FBI now, and as you know, I always can't help but flip to the back of the book to see what's the ending like. Like, you know, so I can read on in peace knowing that the main character is safe, etc.-

So anyway, I turned to the back of #4: Naked Eye and SIGH. Gaia's tragic life. The team managed to nail Catherine and Socorro and returned to Quantico to investigate the Lollipop murder case. Gaia suspected that Will may be the murderer. Will Taylor. After what he'd gone through to save her, risking his career and his life.

And the most terrible thing is, Will got killed right in front of Gaia. Just like Jake. Gaia saw his blood spewing out. I know this is just a fictional book and all, but I still can't help but feel saddened. Why does this have to happen again? Why does Gaia have to go though betrayal (by her ex-roommate Catherine Sanders) again? Why can't she get close to someone without that person getting harmed or worse, killed? Is she destined to a life of isolation and loneliness, just because of her genetic anomaly? Jake had sacrificed himself to save Gaia. He was only 18 and had a bright future ahead of him. When Will was held at gunpoint at the Socorro's HQ, Gaia surrendered because she didn't want him to die in the process of being a hero, like Jake had. But apparently that wasn't enough. Will Taylor still died.

The story ends with Gaia calling Ed Fargo. I didn't read in detail. Will probably write more about this later. Think she may return to New York.

I just feel so sad for Gaia. I know she's a fictional character and all, but...I dunno. She's so alone. She watched her uncle kill her mom at the age of five, and her father left her (thinking that wiuld keep her safe) in foster care when she's 12. Since then she's faced more betrayal than I think a child can possibly take. When Gaia was 17, Mary got killed by Loki. Sam was abducted by Loki. Jake was killed by Chris Rodke. Three years later Will was murdered. How could a person live with all that?

The Phantom of the Opera

Whew, haven't written in like 2 weeks.
The previous week had been so super draining. Squeezed out all my brain juice thinking up essays. It was really difficult.
I watched "The Phantom of the Opera"movie on Sunday. It was super nice!!!I mean, I'd been touched and all when reading the library book my sis borrowed on the musical(there was a script inside), but watching it was a whole different experience. Thanks to my sis I was rather familiar with all the songs. It was such a tragic story..a tragic life of the Phantom. Disfigured, deserted by his mother, loathed by the world, turned away... And that last scene, after he asked Raoul to take Christine away and leave him alone, he looked at his mask and sang Masquerade softly to himself. It was so sad. And then Christine returned to return him the ring that he'd given her. He told her he loved her. He loved her and yet he would never get the love he so yearned for.
I think the movie was great. As in great content and artistic and all. Flashing between the past and present. And I think the last cemetery scene was newly added. When Raoul bid the monkey(made by the Phantom; sought after by another lady whom I suspect is Meg. couldn't be madam giry cos Raoul was so old Giry must have died.) and placed it at Christine's tomb(or headstone, whatever), he noticed a ring with a stalk of rose through it. The Phantom's ring. The rose was a symbol of his. What does that mean?

The Phantom is quite good-looking, actually. I find him a little familiar. You know why? He's actually Gerard Butler who took part in Tomb Raider2 as well as the Spartan war epic 300!





P.S. I'm reading Fearless FBI now. Dunno if I should do this cos to me the end of the Fearless series is an ending in itself, if you know what i mean. It's like Jake's dead and Gaia has decided to leave NYC forever, never to see Ed Fargo again..going elsewhere to start a new life. Then in this new series she graduates from Stanford and joins the FBI. I'm just staring the book, so I don't know yet, but I think she's getting drawn to this other trainee called William Taylor.
How do I say this? Hmm..it doesn't feel right for her to fall for someone else after Jake died to save her. I mean, of course if you love a person you'd want her to be happy, even if that means for her to love someone else. But there's just this feeling of betrayal, you know? I'm scared this'll be like Sweet Valley University-I'll Never Love Again: Nike sacrifices for Jessica. Though he didn't die but he had to give up his life in the place where he grew up in and stay away to keep Jessica safe. Yes, the parting scene was so heart-wrenching and tear-jerking and my heart just broke, but then in the end Jessica, after grieving and all, went back to her firtacious ways. Sigh.

31st of January... Daoming Si's birthday!!! =)
I think I'll lay off Fearless for a while..I've been reading them continuously and you know, that's unhealthy because I'll get too immensed in that world. Anyway I think those books are a bit dark, what with Gaia being so lonely and people she loved getting hurt or even killed, conspiracies and plots all around her, no one to trust and stuff..Ah I still can't get over the fact that Jake was killed. I just read Fearless special edition: Gaia abducted. In this book Jake just arrived in New York and she thought he was this arrogant new boy with a gigantic ego. She was abducted to this mental institution in Florida and Jake rescued her. Jake rescued her. And then in the end Jakew would die to save her. so sad.
I'm reading harry Potter #2..The first few books are lighter and I really had a good time laughing at all those funny bits. =)

You get treated the way you let yourself get treated

A quote from Fearless #21: Blind by Ed Fargo. Which kind of makes sense.

Arghh..I'm still jobless!!!

gone

I'm done with the last book in the Fearless series. And as always(whenever I finish a book or movie) I feel this sense of loss. But all things have to come to an end.
I'm so sad that Jake died. Died to protect Gaia. Why did he have to die? He had such a bright future ahead of him.
And that parting scene with Ed was almost too much to bear. Gaia left New York for good. I suppose she had to, to start all over again. There were simply too many painful memories there. So many people died there because of her. But still... I hate farewells(which are inevitable, I guess).
sigh*

p.s.what an appropriate title.

Free will

Free will. It's an interesting concept. Human beings choose to believe that they have some level of agency over the course of their lives, some measure of control. But that's all it is-a measure. An ineffectual effort to assert power over circumstances far beyond any of our reach. And it's true of us all, no matter where we stand on the social spectrum. While a child trapped, without resource or advantage, in the inner city is likely to know a lifetime of disenfranchisement, the grandest dame of the Junior League is equally a product of social expectations, of the conventions of her peers, of he culture of consumerism. It's a paradox-those with the most capital are often those least free, burdened as they are by a need to acquire, to compete. . . to spend. This fierce drive toward commercialism shifts the power dynamic away from them.

(Adapted from Fearless #35: Exposed)

Kind of chim..Don't really understand. :P

Choices

Because that's the way it goes. That's the nature of the beast. When someone says to you, "Oh, whichever, I don't mind," chances are that on some level, they're flat-out lying. Okay, sure, maybe the truth of the matter is that ultimately they'd be happy to eat sushi instead of Chinese or vice versa. Maybe it's not a life-or-death decision. But they do have a proclivity, however slight. There was a slight momentary flash of, "Gee, an egg roll might be nice," before they realised that some crab tempura could do just the same.
That's the thing about choices: they force a person to choose.
When you're given more than one option, one of the two will seem more appealing. Maybe it's not a value thing, maybe its not really a judgment, but you're going to lean in one direction or the other. At least for a moment.

(Adapted from Fearless #35: Exposed)

Fearless #34: Fake

i was really irritated with Gaia while reading this book cos she's so weak and submissive to Skyler. she just allowed him to poison her mind and turn her against Jake. it was SO maddening.
But luckily in the end she lost her fear (somehow), cleared up her mind and (finally!) began to question Skyler's motives.
Looking forward to the next book...

Excerpts again...

(Skyler)It's always, ALWAYS better to be the person the hero answers to than the hero himself. After all, Caine had to answer to Master Kan. And considering that Tarzan and Superman would do anything their women told them to, didn't that mean Jane and Lois Lane were actually the more powerful ones?

And suddenly, for the first time in her life, Gaia began to understand the absurd mystery of tickling. It wasn't so much the actual sensation of fingers digging into one's ribs but the anticipation of it that people responded to. She was laughing in expectation.

(Gaia) "Take care!"
What nitwit starting using that phrase as a fond farewell? Take care? Take care of what? My teeth? (...) Why are they ordering me to take care of myself? If it's social politeness they're after, wouldn't it be nicer for them to offer to take care of me?
And my tendency, at least in the past, to shoo away the social butterflies? Well, that's just textbook defense strategy, isn't it? We loner misfits who act all tough are really just soggy marshmallows on the inside. We may snarl, "Get lost!" but what we're really saying is, "Love me, hold me, be my best friend."

(Skyler)Once when we were kids, Aunt Agatha took me, Chris, and Liz to her Evangel Temple. (...) And quite a few of them closed their eyes and lifted up their arms. Chris leaned over to me and said, "How come they have their hands up like that?' and I whispered, "Better reception."
Aunt Agatha sent us out to the car for disturbing God with our giggling.

fearless #32: Terror

so now Gaia can feel fear, and she's so cowardly i can't stand it.
not that i can blame her. others had their entire life to accustom to fear; she had it all dumped on her suddenly.

Quotes that Gaia found on the FEAR site:
Fear causes hesitation, and hesitation will cause your worst fears to come true. -Bodhi

A peculiar kind of fear they call courage. -Charles Rann Kennedy

Fearless #5:Kiss

just wanted to quote certain portions of the book that i liked:

-I remember this old neighbour of mine telling me how great it was to be an only child, how you got so much more support, love, attention, blah, blah, blah, blah. How you didn't have to share your clothes or fight over the bathroom. (...) The neighbour I mentioned earlier, the one who was so psyched about only children? I think he neglected to consider how the whole scenario would look if you didn't have parents.

-She turned to the entrance and saw another cluster of people packing themselves in. Her eyes froze. Oh, wow. There. That guy was beautiful, Gaia thought distantly. Tall, perfectlt built. He had gorgeous red-brown-blond hair, neither wavy nor curly but somewhere in between. Just like Sam, her mind informed her dreamily.

Holy shit. Gaia sat up very straight. He wasn't like Sam. He was Sam. Her mind raced.

-"And thanks a lot for looking after me at that bar."

"No prob," Mary said to the sky. "I always take care of my friends."

Gaia thought for a moments. "Why is that so?"

"Because I can afford to."

Gaia squinted at her. "What do you mean?"

"I get a lot of love. From my folks, my brothers. I have extra."

In the pale morning light, that seemed to Gaia both a totally unexpected and beautiful thing to say.

-(Sam) But I can say this. I never understood loneliness until I woke up in my bed without her this morning.