'Although I have some faith in my abilities, companies can give a job to someone 15 years younger than me who's probably not as good as me, but not much worse and whom they can pay half the salary, and who will work harder than I would. At my age, I should be high up the tree, hanging on grimly and voiding my bowels on those below.
I consider suicide. I haven't thought of it for a while.
Suicide's appeal is that it's easy. Going through with it isn't. That requires some drive. Which of the following is easiest? Filling in a 10-page application form which contains several questions you don't even understand? Moving house? Getting a qualification in computing or engineering? Trawling through the lonely hearts columns hoping for someone with decent conversation? Building up a business in executive toys on your own by working 12-hour days for 6 years?
Or swallowing some pills?
Suicide panders to our laziness. And laziness always wins. Sooner or later. That's the only law.
Why not kill yourself when you are in a good mood? Why go out miserable? Why not quit when you are ahead? The notion of checking out in a good mood in a good hotel suddenly appeals to me.
The main reason I ponder suicide a lot is because I know I won't. I have a problem of being a coward and a weakling.'
~~ Tibor Fischer, How to be God, p18-19
(taken from http://iceman-in-iceworld.blogspot.com. It's amazing how many books this guy has read!)
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