There won't be any title for this entry. I mean, it's just a regular, normal journal entry. I'm running out of titles. Hope it works.
Today is a bad day. (haha, Daniel Powter's song.) Things are awkward when I'm around my colleagues. Not all of them, just those who I know exist but are not close to. It's like, I have nothing to talk to them about, and yet I can't pretend like they don't exist. It's not like in a school. The company is much smaller, you can't hide. Like every Tuesday and Thursday. if I catch the 11.45 train, I'd see DL. And I have no courage to say hi to him, so I'd walk real slowly and lag behind him, trying to miss the green light. It sucks.
And I did something terrible today. Sigh. I wanted to print my financial aid application summary, but I was so scared and worried, you know what? Yesterday morning I dreamt that I was printing and my superior suddenly appeared. So scary.
Anyway, I'd planned to meet LJ after my lesson cos she wanted to zap sth as well. But on my way out I saw Ming Shu and so I decided to go upstairs with her to check out the situation. And then I printed my stuff. Hell, I forgot to clear the history and delete the files. Shit. I got back to the multimedia room(that's where I work) and LJ was upset that I had gone on without her.
It's all my fault. I don't know why I did what I did. Argh.. On the way home an awkward silence hung over us as I bit my lips trying to get the s-word out. It's really hard to say it, you know, despite how sincerely you feel about it. Eventually I didn't manage to apologise (sigh). I messaged her after I got off the train.
I'm such a coward.
No comments:
Post a Comment