pain versus more pain

I've got a gaping ulcer in my mouth but there's nothing I can do about it cos every time I try to apply oral paste on it there will be blood and I'm damn worried my blood clot dislodging. This is driving me nuts.

I went to extract two wisdom teeth on the right today. The needle for the anaesthesia is really painful. The dentist was right. You can't feel the pain, but you can feel the pressure exerted on your teeth, which is almost as bad. The surgeon pressed so hard on my teeth I thought I might just dislocate my jaw. Then I felt her pulling and she promptly announced that the top tooth was extracted. The bottom tooth was trickier since it's embedded in the gum. I supposed she cut a slit in my gum first; I couldn't feel that. What I could feel was her sawing my tooth the way a carpenter saws a log. And the sound was just right at my ear.

But alas it was over. I stood up to leave, but felt a bit giddy, and the kind nurse guided me back to rest a while longer.

I began to think that I should have opted for general anaesthesia. But I guess the pain after the anaesthesia fades will be the same. It was disgusting swallowing mouthfuls of blood and walking home with blood-stained lips. And now it's no longer so numb but it's really painful.

Argh it hurts so much...

Had a great time singing with ms n lj... There are some people whom u haven't met up with in a long time and yet when u get together things just seem to click in place 

My experiment didn't work. Again.I'm so tired of this. Doesn't it seem like I'm always moaning and complaining? But that's because that's how I feel. I'm always in the lab earliest and leave the last. It feels really miserable to work in solitude for the entire day and have things keep going wrong.Nothing seems to work. I keep repeating but I don't know what is wrong.

Does this mean that I'm not cut out for research?

Ok, I need to stop worrying about this. There's nothing I can do before my mentor gets back. O need to start in my progress report. Period.

It's been such a long long time since I got good results. Heck, even reasonable results. Everything is just going haywire now. I feel like I'm groping in darkness, searching blindly for a way out.

It's just really depressing. Is research work all about getting results, I wonder. My mentor has gone overseas and there's no one to guide me. Is there any point in me repeating the experiments when I do not know where I've gone wrong?

Sigh.

R.I.P. Dobby

Dobby the House Elf: Such a beautiful place... to be with your friend... Harry Potter...